Flying Blind

“So, Mom, I have a question. Umm, what’s my insulin to carb ratio?”

V remained in her seat and waited for all of her carpool buddies to exit the car before asking me a little sheepishly. And confessed that she left her PDM (pump remote) at home. This was the first time in four years of pumping that she forgot to bring PDM to school, though we’ve had a number of close calls. OK, let’s problem-solve. I told her what the ratio was. She keeps insulin and syringes at the health office, so she would be able to give herself a shot to cover lunch. I reminded her that she could go off of Dexcom data (continuous blood glucose monitor.) “Umm, I left my phone with the PDM.”

Oops. Dexcom transmits readings to her phone. If her phone is at home, she has no way of knowing what her BG readings are.

On the left is the PDM, which also acts as a BG meter. On the right is V’s phone displaying Dexcom data. When the numbers match, it’s call a Unicorn. When BG is 100 it’s also called a Unicorn. Therefore you are looking at a rare double Unicorn and it’s a thing of beauty.

So, without access to Dexcom data she’d have to test to know her BG. I was thinking hard and fast. I just happened to have a case with extra supplies with me, which had an extra meter. I found it, turned it on to test it and… Dead battery. But wait, I had an extra battery! I was standing in the school parking lot, fumbling with the battery and I could not take it out for the life of me.

“Forget it! I think you have an extra meter in the health office.” I knew for a fact that she had a meter for ketone strips. There was a good chance she had compatible blood sugar strips with it too.

I sent her off to school and hesitated for a few minutes before driving away. It was 8:40 AM and I had to be at work by 9. I could

A. Go back home, get her stuff and bring it to her, and be really late to work. OR

B. Let her go by feel and manage with supplies she had at school. It was a short day anyway, so I’d be picking her up about 4.5 hours later.

Her morning BG was in good range, her pod would continue to deliver background insulin regardless of where the PDM was, and she had supplies at the health office. She could give herself a shot to cover lunch carbs. And there were helpful staff and other resources at school, in the event something bad were to happen. I took a big breath and decided, for better or worse, to let her fly blind, and drove off to work.

At about 12 I noticed a missed phone call from a different number and a voice message. “Mom, I’m calling from my friend’s phone. There are only ketone strips here. I don’t have test strips for this meter so I can’t test.”

Well, shit.

I took out the spare meter again, and this time I was able to figure out right away how to replace the battery. It’s amazing how much better your brain works when you are not in a big hurry. I would be picking up V and her brother from school in about an hour. She could hang in there.

As I was driving to pick up, V called me again from someone else’s phone. “Yes, I got your message. I was able to replace the battery so we can test your BG when I pick you up. I am on my way. See you in a few minutes.”

When I picked up the kids, V told me that she gave herself a shot for her lunch plus an extra couple of units just in case. I pulled out the meter and reached into the spare supplies bag to get test strips except… they were not there! Murphy’s law never fails! Back to square one. I drove the carpool buddies home and then hesitated again. We would normally drive straight to piano lesson and I had no extra time to spare. I could

A. Go home first to grab V’s stuff and be very late for piano lesson. OR

B. Continue to fly blind for another hour-plus.

V was feeling OK. She ate lunch, so she was not starving. She was not experiencing any symptoms of high or low blood sugar. We had plenty of fast acting sugar with us. I took a deep breath and again, for better or worse, decided to continue flying blind.

V turned away from me looking upset. “You have no idea how stressful it is to not know what your blood sugar is! I already felt low in the morning and treated even though I didn’t know if I was actually low!” Good decision, kiddo!

I think it’s the longest she’s ever gone not having any information about her BG and going completely by feel. I do not doubt it was very stressful for her. To be honest, I was pretty nervous too, but proceeded to drive to piano lesson anyway. I have faith in V’s ability to listen to and trust her body, and lately she has been feeling both her highs and lows more consistently. And I have faith in our collective ability to deal with whatever situation may arise. If she felt low, we would treat. And if she felt high, while it’s not ideal, we could wait an hour or two before giving a correction. It would be OK.

Piano lesson was uneventful. When we got home, V immediately beelined for her PDM and tested. 60. Whew. *

“I can’t tell you how happy I am to finally test my BG!”. Not the words you hear often from a T1 tween.

File this under “lesson learned.”

Also, file this under “all is well that ends well.”

Also, file this under “go straight to D-Mom hell for being so reckless.”

*60, while considered hypoglycemia, is not necessarily a bad number for V, nor it is necessarily an indication of her BG dropping even lower. I know of at least a few T1’s who consider 60’s to be within acceptable range for them, just as I know a number of T1’s who cannot be below 70+. Sometimes we let her ride it out in the 60’s as long as she is feeling well, not trending down, not doing any physical activity, and does not have any active insulin in her system. At times she feels utterly crappy in the 60’s, and then we treat immediately regardless of circumstances. There does not seem to be any rhyme or reason. Why? Diabeetus, that’s why!