Diabetes Blog Week Throwback Thursday: What Brings Me Down

Today’s Prompt: Today let’s revisit a prompt from 2014 – May is Mental Health Month so now seems like a great time to explore the emotional side of living with, or caring for someone with, diabetes. What things can make dealing with diabetes an emotional issue for you and / or your loved one, and how do you cope?

I asked V what brings her down about living with diabetes. Without skipping a beat she said “Low blood sugar brings me down.” She’s a wiseass. Wonder who she takes after?
I asked her to give it some more thought. “Think about it. What gives you the sads?” After mulling it over, she said “When I can’t eat when my BG is high. My life revolves around food, so it gives me the sads.” And then she happily scampered away.

Perhaps it’s no use asking a 12-year-old what brings her down about living with diabetes when it’s the last thing on her mind. And to her credit often she does this whole T1D thing way better than us, adults. She’ll wonder from time to time how much easier life would be without diabetes. She’ll get annoyed and frustrated about having to deal with the hassle of it. A bad high will add a generous portion of extra upset and anger when she is already upset and angry. A bad low will make her feel really lousy. Sometimes there will be a painful pod or Dexcom change. But she keeps moving along and happily living her life. How I hope that it stays this way.

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I hope she keeps this joy forever and ever

As to what brings me down? I don’t go there too often. I stay away from “what ifs”, take things in stride, and laugh at diabetes whenever I have a chance. When I do go there, it’s not so much down as worried. Worried about bad lows and future complications. Worried about V giving up on her diabetes care as she navigates adolescence. Worried about V being able to maintain good health insurance and access to healthcare when she becomes an adult. Worried about her quality of life with diabetes.

It’s not so much down as defeated. Defeated when we do everything right and still don’t get desired results. Defeated when we can’t put a dent into our credit card debt because medical expenses are relentless. Defeated when that stubborn high BG won’t come down no matter how aggressively we treat it. Defeated when we work so hard to tighten control but the A1C won’t move anywhere but up.

It’s not so much down as angry. Angry every time I hear about a cure in mice. Angry about so much ignorance and misinformation about diabetes. Angry about diabetes and diabetics being the butt of everyone’s jokes. Angry about judgment and hate.

It’s not so much down as exhausted. Exhausted after being up at night because of V’s highs or lows. Exhausted from fighting with insurance. Exhausted from having to shlep to so many doctor’s appointments. Exhausted from having to think about diabetes 24/7.

While V is young, I carry these emotions for her. It is my job as a parent to lessen her burden and I do it gladly. But I can’t do it forever. It is her diabetes and eventually, sooner rather than later, all these burdens that come with it will become hers. It is the one thing that really brings me down. 

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My really pathetic attempt at whipped cream art, created on one of V’s diaversaries. The message spells “T1D Sucks”. Because it does.

 

Diabetes Blog Week Wednesday: The Blame Game

Today’s Prompts is: Having diabetes often makes a visit to the doctor a dreaded experience, as there is invariably bad news of one kind or another.  And sometimes the way the doctor talks to you can leave you feeling like you’re at fault.  Or maybe you have a fantastic healthcare team, but have experienced blame and judgement from someone else in your life – friend, loved one, complete stranger.  Think about a particularly bad instance, how that person talked to you, the words they used and the conversation you had.  Now, the game part.  Let’s turn this around.  If you could turn that person into a puppet, what would you have them say that would leave you feeling empowered and good about yourself?   Let’s help teach people how to support us, rather than blame us!

I’m pleased to say that we are very fortunate. We have a fantastic healthcare team and are surrounded by supportive friends, family and local T1D community. The only one really bad experience we had was at the water park last summer, when V was rudely confronted by a stranger who felt she was cutting the line and, since she did not look sick, did not have any reasons to have a disability pass. I wrote about it in detail in this post.  To be honest, I really don’t feel like revisiting it. When someone passes judgment inadvertently because of misinformation, but without an intent to be hurtful, I am more than happy to have a discussion. But there is no reasoning with a jerk and, aside from standing up to them, I’m not going to waste my time and energy with someone who has no desire to be supportive.

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I can, however, offer a few advanced tips to those who have to deal with us, crazy D-parents and our T1D offspring.

-Instead of asking “How is V’s diabetes?”,  ask “How is V doing with her diabetes?” When asked the former, my knew-jerk response is “Eh, it’s still there.” But even if I’m not trying to be a wiseass (hard to believe, I know), I don’t know how to answer this question. When you ask me how V is doing, I can give you an honest and specific answer. Often it’s “She has good days and bad days.” But sometimes I can share that we’ve hit a sweet spot and things have been relatively uneventful. Or that V is really struggling at the moment.

-Please don’t tell us that you “could never do it” – give shots, or count carbs, or poke fingers multiple times. If you life depended on it you would. Instead, you can say “All this sounds painful and scary and overwhelming.” And personally I take zero offense if you say that you are grateful your kids are healthy and don’t have to deal with any of this crap. No, seriously – feeling bad for us does not preclude you from feeling grateful that you don’t have to go through what we are going through. Trust me, we would not wish it on anyone.

-When V tells you she hates immunization shots, please don’t say in a very surprised tone “But shouldn’t you be used to shots by now?” First of all, have you seen a diabetes syringe? The needle is tiny and the shots are usually painless or sting just a bit. Now, compare it to a needle that is used for immunization shots. It’s a monster in comparison. Secondly, pump and CGM insertions involve needles too. They may not always be visible but they are bigger and they hurt. So the last thing V needs in her life is another shot. You can say just that.

-Last but not least, when you hear about another “breakthrough” or exciting discovery/tech development in the news, please curb your enthusiasm.

 

Gluten-Free Expo Review

Disclosure: The Gluten-Free Media Group provided me with a complimentary admission to Gluten-Free Expo. All opinions are my own.

Gluten-Free expo was amazing. So many different products to explore! I was quite familiar with some products and approached those vendors as a true fangirl. And there were many more that were either new to me or that I have not had a chance to sample in the past.

All the swag! All the vendors!

Without further ado, I present to you some of my favorites.

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Everything by BFree. Like, everything. Breads, bagels, pita bread (yes, GF pita bread exists), breadsticks – everything is so good! I’ve heard of the brand before but this was my first time sampling it. A+

 

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These things are like crack. Seriously, you can’t eat just one. Very tasty and make great appetizers/party food.

 

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So many yummy things by this company that was completely new to me. See that chocolate cake mix? Tried it. Tastes amazing.

 

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So Delicious is so delicious. Also so blurry, sorry. Why yogurt, you ask? Isn’t yogurt normally GF anyway? Well, yes. I loved this for my own selfish reason. In my early twenties I developed mild lactose tolerance. A few years ago it got worse. Thank goodness I can still have cheese and most processed dairy products, as well as just a little bit of milk/cream. But I had to say good bye to yogurts and ice cream altogether, because doubling over in pain is so not worth it. So Delicious makes yummy coconut milk based yogurts and ice-creams. Trust me, I tried many and it’s not that easy to pull it off.

 

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Using the swag I brought back, I assembled V’s lunch later that day: a sandwich with BFree bread roll, So Delicious yogurt, and sun butter.

 

The following day I decided to bring V along. It felt great to be able to tell her that she could eat everything. How often does that happen? Almost never.

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Some of V’s favorites were Sun Butter and Milton’s chips. Yum!

So it’s lovely when everything is GF and I could say yes to everything. Except that stupid diabetes thing that did not agree with all of the sampling V had. We tried to estimate carbs best we could but ended up severely underestimating.

 

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Oops! We fixed it, using mainly insulin. For bonus points tell me at what time we arrived to the Expo? How were you able to tell?

 

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V was excited to assemble her lunch for the following day, using some of her favorite products.

 

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Last but not least, we got to try Keli’s Sauces. Sweet N Sour sauce was hands-down favorite. Not only is it delicious, it’s also pretty low in carbs, at 5 g per 1 TBS. V dips everything into it. It’s taken an honorable place alongside ketchup and it’s a place hard-earned.

I can’t wait to go to the Expo next year and if I’m lucky I’ll make it to other Expos. I highly recommend you do the same. If you go, I have a pro tip for you: go hungry or else you won’t be able to get through even a fraction of samples. Also,  you may not need another meal that day. Or ever.

Gluten-Free Expo, At Last!

And I’m doing my first ever giveaway! Just keep reading 🙂

I’ve heard about various gluten-free expos. I’ve read other peoples’ experiences about attending. I was ware that there was at least one big expo right here were we live. I’ve been wanting to go for-freaking-ever, but something always came up. Not any more. Move over diabetes, I’m giving Celiac some well-deserved time in the spotlight.

Because really, sometimes Celiac is even more annoying than Diabetes. Yes, really. For example, V was going on a field trip to the ice-skating rink with her class a few weeks ago. Afterwards they were going to have pizza and snacks. My very first question was, could they get GF pizza for her? Because if they could not, V would have to bring her own lunch. Not fun. And traveling while maintaining a gluten-free diet can present another set of challenges. For starters, wherever we go, we have to stay in a place that has at least a fridge and microwave, so that we can either bring food with us or buy it at a store. Finding a restaurant with gluten-free options is not always possible, so we always have to be prepared to supply V’s food on our own.

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No trip to Target is complete without stocking up on some of our GF favorites

Random fun fact #1: when we find some gluten-free products on sale, we buy them up in ridiculous quantities. Like this:

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When our favorite GF bread is on sale…

 

Anyway, I’m really excited to finally attend a Gluten-Free expo here in San Diego on February 12-13. (Random fun fact #2: Gluten Free Media Group – the company that puts together the expos – is also the same company that’s behind Find Me Gluten Free app and website. This app is a life-saver for us when we are traveling and I’ve found amazing GF restaurants with its help.)

While I know of many GF products, there are many more that I’m not aware of, and I can’t wait to explore the wonderful GF world at the expo. I am going to be  on a particular lookout for products that are GF AND diabetes-friendly. I’m also hoping to discover more local restaurants, stores, and other businesses that cater to Celiac community. And perhaps I can learn something new about GF living.

Want to join me at the expo? I have….DRUMROLL….a GIVEAWAY!

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I have five tickets that are good for FREE admission to one day of the event (Saturday 2/11 or Sunday 2/12). Comment on this post by Saturday 1/14/17 telling me what your favorite gluten-free product is and why you love it so. I will select five people randomly on Sunday 1/15/17. 

 

 

Fully Loaded

The holidays are here and we are ready to eat all the things! Tomorrow we are having a Christmukah Eve potluck with our friends. Sunday we are having Christmas Day potluck with the same group of friends. Because why have one holiday meal if you can have two?

Last night we had company over for dinner, which gave us a good opportunity to do a dry run of holidays diabetes management. In line with how we handled Thanksgiving dinner last year, I decided to be aggressive with insulin and rely on Dexcom to monitor trends. I eyeballed the meal, overestimated the carb count, gave V a generous amount of insulin upfront, and spread out the other half of the dose over three hours. She wanted more dessert and we said yes, and gave more insulin. “Mom, do you realize I already have 11 units onboard?” “Yep. Give yourself more!”

All evening V’s BG stayed in the 130-180 range, which is fantastic. She gave herself some insulin before bed, which brought her into a nice low 100’s range for the duration of the night. It was a thing of beauty. This weekend’s goal: replicate this as closely as possible.

It was time to change V’s pod tonight. I was about to fill it with around 170 units of insulin, which normally lasts for 3 days with some extra to spare. Then I remembered about all the eating that will happen this weekend. For the very first time in three years of pumping, I loaded V’s pod with 200 units, filling it to the maximum capacity. Pod is fully loaded and we are ready!

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Wishing for good BG numbers this holiday weekend

 

 

A Letter of Hope

I am going to kick off November – Diabetes Awareness Month – with a letter of hope. It’s a brilliant idea of Maureen at Mumoftype1 to include these letters in hospital care packages for families of newly diagnosed T1 kids.

Dear family of a newly diagnosed child:

It’s undoubtedly a really hard time for you now. Your world has been turned upside down. You may be feeling scared, overwhelmed, sad, frustrated. You are probably bombarded with so much information and wondering how on earth you’ll be able to remember half of it, let alone be able to do all the things you need to do to take care of your child.

I remember this time so well. Like many other families, diabetes was the last thing on our mind and, in fact, we had no idea what Type 1 Diabetes was. I remember how, in the first days after diagnosis, I was wishing that we could fast-forward a year, to a point where we would not feel so overwhelmed, where we knew what we were doing and at peace with our new normal.

Now that we are more that three years in, I am going to tell you this: it will get better. I promise. It is a steep learning curve but before you know it, you will learn and do so much. You will become the boss of diabetes!

As much as you  can, embrace the hand you’ve been dealt. Dive in and learn. Ask questions, do your research. Learn together with your child. The more you understand about diabetes and its management, the more empowered and confident you will feel, and it will trickle down to your T1 child and the rest of the family. By now I feel like I’ve earned my honorary endocrinology degree and our daughter earned a title of a true diabadass. We have both skills and confidence to handle any situation diabetes can throw at us and it gives us a peace of mind and a feeling of pride and accomplishment.

Diabetes does not stop our daughter from doing what she loves. Be it sports, or playdates, or camps, or sleepovers, or traveling – she continues to do it all. You will learn how to make necessary adjustments, get the right kind of support and ask for appropriate accommodations. The question is not whether your child can do something with diabetes, but how it can be done. If there is one thing that I want to convey in this letter, is that you will learn how to work diabetes management around your life, not the other way around. It’s not always simple and there will be many hurdles to overcome, but I encourage you to start thinking about this right away. We don’t have a choice about having diabetes in our children’s lives, but we have a choice of how to deal with it and how to make the best of it. 

So, welcome to this crappy elite club. Did I mention that this club is full of amazing people? Please reach out to other T1 families in your community and online. Your local JDRF chapter is a good place to start. Our fellow d-peeps are an incredible source of support, encouragement, and wisdom. Our daughter also benefits immensely from having other T1 friends in her life.

Hang in there. Trust yourself and trust your child. T1 kids and families are strong and resilient. You got this. And all of us here got your back. You may not know us but we are in your corner. You are not alone!

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In Diabetes Hacks We Trust

This was supposed to be another uneventful dinner at our local eatery, just me and my girl. As we sat down, V told me she felt low. Two things are noteworthy: 1) she’s just getting over a cold and her numbers have been crazy high past couple of days, but trending much better today, which actually made her BG more unpredictable, and 2) her Dexcom has been acting out and showing ??? or out of range most of the day.

She tested and her BG was 56. OK, no biggie, we are at a restaurant anyway. She asked for regular soda but I told her no, she would only be able to have a few sips anyway. We settled on one glucose tab to bring BG up just enough to be able to bolus for dinner, and she ordered a diet soda. Miraculously, at the same time Dexcom came back to life and started alarming us of the low. Yeah, thanks buddy, tell me something I don’t know, I told it. But I should not have been so short with it because of what happened next.

V guzzled down her soda, we ordered the food and she re-tested. 96 – BINGO. She pre-bolused for the food and got a soda refill while we waited for food to come out. About ten minutes later I noticed that Dexcom was showing BG of 110 and going up. How could BG have gone up that much already and still going up? One glucose tab was not enough to do this. If anything, since she gave herself some insulin but had not consumed any carbs, I’d expect her to be trending down. And then a suspicion hit me: did they refill her glass with REGULAR soda? Soda full of sugar? Because it would explain everything.

V drank just a bit of her refill, thankfully. She asked me to taste it. I can’t tell a difference between regular and diet! But then in a flash I remember reading about a diabetes hack that involved testing sugar in soda with a glucose meter. Instead of blood you put a drop of soda on the test strip. Regular soda will yield a high number. Diet soda will yield a LO reading or a meter error.

I whipped out V’s meter, fired it up and put the strip in a drop of soda. Aaaaaannnnd….Drumroll….

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OMG. She was drinking regular soda indeed. If we did not notice an upward trend and test the soda, this would have been V’s BG in an hour or so, and it would have been a monster to deal with.

I gave her a generous dose of extra insulin and we asked for a different glass of diet soda, complete with a clean straw. You bet I tested it when it came out. Meter error message confirmed it was diet. Whew. We carried on with dinner, keeping an eye on BG trends all the while. Afterwards we went for a nice long walk with the dogs. BG maxed out at 250. We can live with that!

Whoever came up with this hack, I can’t thank you enough.