Diabetes Week Saturday: Favorites and Motivations

If you have been blogging for a while, what is your favorite sentence or blogpost that you have ever written?  Is it diabetes related or just life related?  If you are a new blogger and don’t have a favorite yet, tell us what motivated you to start sharing your story by writing a blog?

A post that encourages shameless self-promotion? Don’t mind if I do!

Sorry, you are going to have to put up with me as I link you to several favorite posts, as I cannot narrow it down to one. They are favorites for different reasons.

The 10 Commandments post was probably the most fun to write. I sifted through many diabetes memes and laughed every step of the way.

The post about V’s first B-day party sleepover at her friend’s house stands out because it was a big milestone for us. We all survived and managed well, even though it was not always smooth sailing.

This post of 10 things we want others to know and understand about our life became a best-seller. I hope it helped others become more aware of what T1D and Celiac life does and does not entail. (This post also shows that I am unable to do basic counting and it took me a while to notice my epic fail.)

Then in February of this year I blogged for a week about my Awareness Project of living my life in my daughter’s T1D and gluten-free shoes. It was a quite a memorable and eye-opening experience. You can find day by day accounts in my blog by clicking on the Awareness Project tag, and you will find a summary of my experience in this guest post for Diabetes Mine. 

Last but not least, I will leave you with one of my all-time favorite quotes by a brilliant character from my favorite TV show. It applies to life in general, and certainly to life with diabetes.


For bonus points, without Googling it, can you tell me what episode it’s from? Mad respect if you can spit out episode title, but an accurate description of the episode will certainly count!

Awareness Project, Day 7

Last night my husband made another effort to check my BG. This time he did it at the right time – around 2 AM – but he completely failed to be discreet. First, his alarm went off. I thought that he set it to check on V, whose BG was still riding high despite aggressive measures to beat it down. He later told me that the alarm was for me. The sound of the alarm fully woke me up. Then he fumbled with the meter and lancing device, something dropped on the floor and made a lot of noise, and we ended up having a good laugh about it. Another fail! I did let him test me, since he went through all that trouble. As you can imagine, my BG was as boring and unexciting as all other times I tested it.

We finally got out of the house today and went out to have pizza for dinner. V was happy to have a testing buddy and my husband got a couple of action shots.

Testing and pre-bolusing
Testing and pre-bolusing
Guess which one of us has diabetes?
Guess which one of us has diabetes?

We shared a delicious gluten-free pizza and a salad. I am thankful that we live in a city with many restaurants offering gluten-free options. It makes our life so much easier.

In the evening, I interviewed V about her thoughts on my project. She said it was fun and cool for her to have me doing everything she does, and to be able to watch me do it. She thought I did an “excellent” job: “You did it perfectly and you did not cheat.” When asked if anything surprised her, she said that she was surprised at how boring my blood sugar was, and also at how frustrating it was for me to check my BG in the morning while getting everyone ready. Finally, when I asked V what she thought about me going back to my “normal life”, she said that she will miss having me as a diabetic partner.

I told her that I do not mind checking BG with her from time to time. I’d happily do it more often if the test strips were not so damn expensive. I’ve also discovered, to my own surprise, that counting carbs, measuring my portions and roughly sticking to V’s carb guidelines works for me. Not once during the week did I over-eat, and not once did I feel hungry. So maybe that’s something I will continue to do at least when we eat at home. As far as the gluten-free diet goes, the most difficult thing about it is limitations of dining out and the stress of having to pack my lunch every single day. There is not a single gluten-containing food that I really missed or craved.

I am feeling pensive and a little sad as I am wrapping up my project, my mood undoubtedly colored by a very difficult Dexcom insertion saga tonight that lasted 45 minutes and involved a lot of tears and fear on V’s part. On the other hand, I am typing this post without Dexcom sensor attached to my arm. Before she went to bed, V pulled it off. My skin is a little red and there is a minuscule drop of dried blood at the insertion site. It will remind me of this project for a few days. Remember how yesterday I said that there is a part of me that does not want to let go? I take it back. I am ready to be done. I will make good on my promise to check my BG with V from time to time. I will be more mindful of my own carb intake and eat even more gluten-free foods. I will try to be more patient and understanding with V when she does not want to check her BG because it is interrupting her life. I have the luxury of making these choices, of playing the game again if I want to, and I don’t have to experience any adverse consequences for myself. If I could swap places with V and take her T1D and celiac for myself, I would do it in a heartbeat. But I also know it is not possible. With that knowledge my heart is breaking for her and at the same time I am glad that I do not have to go through what she is going trough. We are all sharing in V’s care now, helping her with many things, but it is her diabetes, her celiac, her body and her life. Soon, the management will be all hers, too. I will be supporting her every step of the way but no matter how close I try to experience her life and how much I try to walk in her shoes, I will always come up short.

Awareness Project, Day 6

Remember how I thought it would be a tough sell to convince my husband to poke me in the middle of the night? He actually agreed. Except it went something like this:

10 PM: V’s Dexcom alarms, she is high, in the mid 200’s. I go and bolus her.

11 PM: Dexcom alarms, she is still high, still in the mid 200’s. I go and bolus her, AGAIN.

12:30 AM: Dexcom alarms as I’m finally getting to sleep. She is still high, still in the mid 200’s. She has a lot of insulin on board and is finally trending down so I shut Dexcom up and go back to bed, hoping that we can all get to sleep.

2:30 AM: WRONG. Dexcom alarms again. She is high, AGAIN. I get up and test her, AGAIN. 282 is not a number I am willing to put up with so I bolus her, AGAIN. Can we please get to sleep now?

I finally crashed. I know my husband had to get up a few times to check on V and/or shut up Dexcom but I effectively slept through it all. At around 6:30 AM I hear a quiet commotion by my bedside. I partially open one of my eyes and see my dear husband opening the meter case. He decided to make good on his promise and test me. But dude, 6:30 AM is not middle of the night. It is already light, it’s about the time I usually wake up in the morning, so the chances of me not hearing you are slim to none. I open my eyes fully, tell him he’s busted, and order him to get back to bed so that we can get a bit more sleep. Fail. He says he will try again tonight.

Today I tried V’s lancing device and it is indeed much gentler. She says she barely feels it and for that I am thankful. She also tested my BG today and did a good job with that. And she helped me with the last pod change. She’s happy being able to do to me what I have to do to her. Still it feels a little awkward pretending that I have T1D. My BG continues to be very boring, while hers is…


Feeling high, feeling low


Weird high day today. Can't seem to beat BG into submission no matter how hard we try.

Weird high day today. Can’t seem to beat BG into submission no matter how hard we try.

We stayed home today, as I am recovering from a cold, V’s brother is recovering from a nasty asthma episode, and V herself has sore throat on and off (which could explain the high BG, actually.) I did have to run a quick errand and instead of taking a small purse I had to drag with me the big fat bag with all the supplies. Because when you have diabetes you can’t leave home without those supplies.

Time has flown by. Tomorrow is the last day of my project. I think there is a part of me that does not want to let go. As much as I may be annoyed and inconvenienced by it, I’m starting to get used to the routine. I’m used to wearing gadgets and people asking what they are. I have my “elevator” speech well-practiced by now. I’m even starting to get used to carb counting and staying within a daily carb range.

My hope is that tomorrow everyone will be feeling well so that we can be out and about, including going to a restaurant to eat. I also plan to interview V about her experience with and thoughts/reactions about this project. If you have any questions you would like me to ask her, please put it in the comments.



Awareness Project, Day 5

If I won’t have lost a pound or two at the end of this project, I will not be amused.

I am still finding that pricking my finger is a deterrent to eating. I’ve gotten over the pain by now. The crappy, free give-away lancing device I have is not gentle on my fingers, but it’s really not so bad. I should try V’s device and see how it compares. Regardless, it’s the inconvenience of having to test that shuts my mouth. Who knew? I always bring no-carb snacks with me but I’m finding it difficult. I think finally I am tapping a little more into V’s struggles. While we’ve found a few good zero-carb snacks, having a variety of them is still challenging. There is so much cheese and nuts I can take. There is so much cold cuts that I want to snack on. I love eggs, but I already have an egg for breakfast almost every day. If I consume any more eggs I fear I will start laying them myself. As much as I love veggies, I personally don’t enjoy munching on them with the exception of carrots, and those are not exactly carb-free. V is actually ahead of me in this – she’ll happily take bell peppers and celery with some ranch sauce. Me, I prefer hunger.

So, instead of going for a sensible low-carb snack, I just skip it altogether because I do not want to be bothered to check my BG again. Work has been really busy lately, so I do not want to take a minute (!) of my time to test. It’s so absurd and yet it feels to me like I’ll be sucked into the eternity of time if I open up that meter case. I can’t imagine how annoyed I would be if I HAD to check BG in-between meals. I am getting closer to understanding how annoying it may feel for V to have to interrupt her play and other activities to test, let alone treat a low or correct a high. I hate how for her it’s the new normal. I think we both may prefer an alternative normal 😉

Diabetes continues to stay in the forefront of my project, always on my mind. I think I’m starting to look like this:


Cartoon by Haidee Merritt

Surprisingly, I do not miss gluten all that much. I am realizing that it’s not gluten-containing foods per se, as I’m fairly content to get by without them. It is about the limited options and additional burden gluten-free diet creates. I brought my lunch with me every day to work this week. Normally I will buy lunch once or maybe twice a week. However, there are no gluten-free options near my offices, so I have to bring my own food. V is in the same predicament in school. She used to love eating in school cafeteria. While we generally limited it to once a week, she would go on different days and sample different things from the menu. She still goes to the cafeteria once a week but now it’s more of a break for us than a treat for her. The options that the school is able to offer her are lame: chicken drumstick in a corn tortilla, or turkey sandwich in a corn tortilla, or sunflower butter and jelly sandwich in…you guessed it…a corn tortilla. About that last choice,


As this day is wrapping up, I have one thing left on my agenda – to convince my husband to wake up in the middle of the night to test my BG while I am asleep, making every effort to not wake me up. I pitched it to him yesterday but he was not so keen on the idea. Something is telling me it will be a tough sell…

Awareness Project, Day 4

Today’s recap will be brief. This morning I was going to take T1D on the run, literally. However, I woke up with sore throat, congestion and feeling icky. To add insult to injury, my back started spasming in the shower. It actually made me think of how, if I were T1D, it would be really stupid of me to get up feeling sick and yet jump in the shower without checking BG first. And then I thought that I would perhaps need to “adjust” my temp basal.

When I got out of the shower I told V that I was not feeling well. She immediately pointed out that my blood sugar may be higher. “I’m on it, baby. I’ve ‘increased’ my temp basal already.”

My son decided to get in the game as well. He spent the morning walking around with an empty PDM case and “bolusing” himself. (Although, come on kid, I have to deal with V’s T1D, and now I have to check myself, so the last thing I want to do is figure out carbs for your breakfast. OK, OK, it’s 42. Now “bolus” and eat please!) A couple of nights ago he actually insisted I test his BG. When we first tried testing him about a year ago, he was completely freaked out. I guess he got used to the idea and things went smoothly. He was 105 half an hour after dessert. So far, still only one T1D kid here, whew.

I tried to take it easy and rest. Totally SWAGed my lunch. Thank you Udi’s for making really good gluten free bread, by the way.


A giant bowl of chicken soup with rice, potatoes and veggies. Maybe about 20g?

Then V crashed in the middle of the day, for no apparent reason, and reached a new Dexcom low. Literally.


I was not really worried, she was at a solid 65 just a couple of minutes prior and had already had some sugar because we saw that she was dropping. We knew it was a matter of Dexcom catching up. Still, I consider it to be an interesting development.

Maybe it’a low kind of day today? I recorded a personal low for myself – 88. Yep, boooooring.

With that, I’m going to bolus for a few dark chocolate squares and a gluten free Girl Scout cookie, have some tea and call it a night.

Awareness Project, Day 3

Today I checked my BG out in the open at work, twice. I had an option of doing it in private in my office and then joining everyone else at the meeting. I actually momentarily considered it, even though it would be contrary to my intentions. I will admit, I was a little nervous. Would people stare? Would they be grossed out? Would they ask questions that I’d find too personal or uncomfortable or plain stupid? I know V constantly gets questions from other kids and it gets to her sometimes. No one said anything to me. Maybe it’s because most people know by now I am doing this as a project? Would their reaction be different if I actually had T1D? It made me think about other people with diabetes, how they handle day-to-day care, how they may be treated by others when they attend to their needs in the open.

In fact, I thought a lot today about T1D adults who are also parenting T1D kids. That is one stressor that is difficult for me to imagine. In the morning I was feeling double and triple stressed having to prep breakfast and helping V with carbs, while also minding my own BG and measuring out my own food in addition to hers, while also keeping GF foods separate from regular food for my son. It is all too much multitasking for me and takes extra time. By the time I finally sat down to eat my breakfast it was cold. Oh well…

As I am getting further into my project, I am starting to doubt if I’m really getting a taste of V’s life. I am receiving a very different treatment since I am an adult around other adults, and since I am a fake diabetic/celiac. I am starting to feel a little fake. Like here I am, parading with my gadgets, getting all kinds of supportive comments about being a great Mom, but really what I’m going through is so insignificant compared to living with T1D and Celiac for real every day. I can check my BG and count my carbs but I don’t need to worry about administering just the right dose of insulin or experience the aftermath of miscalculations. I go through the hassle of staying strictly gluten-free but I do not need to be concerned with accidental cross-contamination. It’s all fun and games for me. The stakes are much higher for V. I can go through the motions as accurately as possible but how much closer does it get me to understanding of what it’s like to walk in her shoes? I am not sure.

On a brighter note, it was time for both of us to change our pods tonight. I told V that she could pick my new site. Since she put the pod on her arm, she wanted me to keep mine on the arm as well so that we could become pod twinsies.


Awareness Project, Day 2

I am getting better at avoiding the walls. I did particularly well at work but I am still really klutzy at home. All of my devices are still attached.

Why isn’t anyone at work asking me about T1D or Celiac beyond the “what’s this?” when they see my pod and CGM? I was certain it would invite more questions and discussions. Clearly my expectations were way off. What does it take to start a good discussion? I have not had a chance to check my BG in the open but tomorrow I may be able to. I am curious to see what reaction I will get and if it will generate any more questions.

I’m still avoiding eating when it is inconvenient to test BG. I love eating and I do not like being hungry, and yet I choose to be hungry when I can’t be bothered to prick my finger. Go figure.

All-in-all the T1D part of my experience was pretty uneventful today. However, Celiac took a surprising spotlight. Once in a while, maybe once a month, we get a free lunch at the office where I work on Tuesdays. Lunch may be provided any day of the week, and we do not know ahead of time, we get an email about it the morning it is scheduled. It’s usually a nice treat, I love food, and I especially love free food. Guess what was the first email I read this morning when I came to work? Yup. We were getting a free lunch. Of all the days it had to happen today, on the one day of the week I am in that particular office, and of course it’s a day when I have to keep strict gluten-free diet. Was it Karma or perfect opportunity? I do not know but it made me laugh.

I brought my food with me and I was determined to stick with it but I still wondered what the lunch would be. Sometimes it’s not even anything I like. Also, most of the time salad is provided and I thought that at least I’d be able to grab a plate of salad. And guess what? It was Italian food. Pasta, bread, and salad full of croutons. In other words, scrumptious gluten fest. Even if I decided to break all the rules and bolus for a million carbs, I could not touch any of it because it was all gluten. I laughed and laughed and laughed. If I wanted to have a glimpse of my daughter’s life, I was definitely getting it today. Suck it up, buttercup, and say no to gluten.

This is what I could have had for lunch:


Gluten, gluten and more gluten. Delicious, mouth-watering, drool-worthy gluten.

And this is what I actually ate for lunch:

Rather pathetic looking, right? It actually tasted pretty good. Trader Joe's makes some mean frozen entries. But still...

Rather pathetic looking, right? It actually tasted pretty good. Trader Joe’s makes some mean frozen entries. But still…

When I got home, I told V what happened and showed her the pictures. She was delighted and I am still laughing.

Awareness Project, Day 1

Diabetes is inconvenient and annoying and I do not like it. The novelty wore off in, like, half an hour.

Disclosure: I am grumpy. I had a long day at work and our son has been sick with really bad asthma. It has been a stressful day. “Living” the T1D life did not help.

I am going to write a recap in bullet points because I am very tired. And stressed. And grumpy. So here goes:

-Apparently I cannot walk in a straight line. I clipped every single wall with either CGM or the pod. I did it repeatedly. I also keep struggling to get the purse handles over my shoulder because it gets stuck on the pod and I keep forgetting that I am wearing a pod. I am amazed I have not ripped anything off yet.

-Upon seeing my bionic parts people asked either “What is that?” or “What happened?” Upon hearing my explanation, most were really supportive. One gave me a puzzled look – not disapproving, just puzzled. No one asked me more questions, which was rather disappointing.

-Having to check my own BG and count my own carbs in addition to helping my daughter is way too much multitasking for me. I burned toast for breakfast. No, I charred it.

-My BG is really boring. I suppose it’s good news for me?

-I quickly realized that “pre-blousing” is the ONLY way to go. I need to figure out carbs, check BG and only then prepare and handle food.

-It is so damn inconvenient and annoying to have to check BG before I eat anything. I miss being able to just grab food and shove it in my mouth.

-I totally “over-bloused” myself for dinner. I thought I would eat rice and Kind Bar for dinner. However, after finishing rice I realized I was no longer hungry and did not want to eat the bar. It paralyzed me. If I had T1D for real I would have to eat something to make up for the carbs. I did nothing. Later in the evening I was a little hungry and wanted to finally eat that bar but did not know if I should just eat it because I already “bolused” for it or if I should check BG first. I ended up doing nothing. I get an F for my diabetes management today.

-Yes, I find checking BG inconvenient enough that I will skip eating just so I don’t have to do it.

-The cheapo give-away lancet device I am using does not have a function to eject the lancet. Eff it, I will use the same lancet all day long. Which I should not do because I’m on V’s case to change lancets every time, but I think that lack of ejection function is enough of a mitigating circumstance.


Awareness Project: Getting Ready

I had a lot to get done to be ready for tomorrow’s launch of my Awareness Project. Since we rush in the morning to get out the door, I had to prep this weekend.  Actually, truth be told, I’d been thinking about this for a while, making plans in my head and figuring out what I would need to get and do to pull it off. First, I bought extra gluten-free foods so that there was enough for both of us for the week. I had to think about what I normally pack for lunch and what changes I’d have to make. That was not very difficult because when I make lunches at home, they are usually gluten-free anyway.  I either pack leftovers from meals or put together some cold cuts, veggies, dip and crackers. The next task was a bit more challenging. I took out all the supplies and diabetes paraphernalia out of V’s diabetes kit so that I could take an inventory and figure out what I needed to pack in my purse. It would come as no surprise that I gathered a lot of stuff to pack:

ALL the supplies! Insulin, glucagon, meter, strips, wipes, back-up pods, syringes, fast-acting sugars, oh my...

ALL the supplies! Insulin, glucagon, meter, strips, wipes, back-up pods, syringes, fast-acting sugars, oh my…

And then I looked at my purse and realized that I had a problem.

There is no way all this stuff would fit in here!

There is no way all this stuff would fit in here!

And I felt like this:


Do you remember that Taco Bell commercial from the 90’s?

So I had to go out and buy a new, bigger purse!


Once I stuffed all the diabetes stuff in the purse, I transferred my planner, wallet and a million little miscellaneous things from my old purse. I do not like that. I like my old purse thankyouverymuch. It feels all new and unfamiliar. But let this be the worst of my problems.

Then I decided to test out the lancing device, since I did not want to fumble with it when we are in a hurry in the morning. I set it to the lowest setting and hesitated for several minutes. “I want my mommy!”I whined and complained to my husband. He laughed and I finally poked myself. It was not bad and I drew a lot of blood. I had to apply pressure to stop the bleeding. What is up with that? Are there veins in the finger tips?

My next task was to put together my food for the day. This process involved an additional pain of measuring and weighing and counting and writing everything down. It took a little longer than usual, as expected. Just as I was thankful our diet was reasonable before V got diagnosed, I was thankful today that my diet was reasonable before this project. I did not have to make changes per se, I just needed to count everything exactly. On the menu for tomorrow are cold cuts, cheese, veggies, humus, crackers, chips, rice with chicken, a Kind Bar, and an apple. I don’t think I will starve…

This is lunch, snacks and dinner. Tomorrow I leave the house at 8 AM and won't get back until about 7:30 PM.

This is lunch, snacks and dinner. Tomorrow I leave the house at 8 AM and won’t get back until about 7:30 PM.

Last but not least, it was time to insert the CGM. The last thing I want to do tomorrow is fumble with it in a hurry. V did the honors and was practically giddy that she got to “hurt” me and make me suffer. We had a discussion about where to put the sensor. She wanted me to put it on my stomach but I felt it would be better if it were visible, so we agreed on the arm. It was good practice for V to insert the sensor and I felt surprisingly calm about it, except for a few seconds preceding the insertion. She did a great job because I felt the slightest pinch and that was that. And now I am armed and ready. Tomorrow I will stick on the demo Pod and V and I will become “twinsies”.


Awareness Project

It happened a few weeks ago. “V can’t do it!” – a random flash of awareness hit me one day, as I was mindlessly reaching for a snack. If she wants a snack, she’d need to carefully measure it. She’d need to consider her BG and decide if a carb snack is worth it. She’d need to test and bolus. What is it like for her? And then an idea struck me: I need to walk a mile in her shoes. I need to experience as closely as possible what it’s like to live with her restrictions, routines and rules. I need to live my life like I have T1D: testing BG multiple times, counting my carbs, sticking to a reasonable amount of carbs per meal, saying no to things I may really want. I will do it for a day to see what it’s like, I thought. Almost a immediately a little voice in my head started screaming and laughing at me: No, one day is lame! Anyone can do anything for one day. It’s not really enough time to experience her life. Go big or go home – do at least one week. I relented. It only made sense that if I wanted to have a glimpse of lived experience, I needed to give it some time. I started to feel a mix of excitement, curiosity and apprehension about what was ahead, thinking of how much my life would change, even if just for one week.

And then a second flash of awareness hit me: crap, I have to go strictly gluten-free, too! With that realization, I wanted to backpedal immediately. No way, it is too much work, I don’t want to do it, it is not worth it. I am already stressed out, why would I want to add to my plate? But the same voice that told me to go for a week instead of a day told me to just shut up and stop whining. V is 9 years old. If she can do it every day, for almost two years now, I can do it for a week.

This is is how the idea of the Awareness Project was born. Starting Monday, February 9th, I will live my daughter’s T1D and gluten-free life for one week. I will check my BG multiple times a day. I will cary diabetes supplies with me. I will count the carbs. I will impose the same structure of 40-70 carbs per meal, plus some snacks. I will wear a CGM and a dummy Pod. I will follow a strict gluten-free diet and treat it as if I have Celiac and have to be mindful of cross-contamination. I will do everything in the open, which may invite questions, comments and discussions. I will be blogging about my experience daily, so stay tuned to Project Awareness week, with a special preview tomorrow as I get everything ready to go for Monday.

I am still filled with excitement, curiosity and apprehension. I am sure it will be a week to remember.

Ribbons Collage